Wedding traditions: Who’s responsible for what?
Question: I am most curious about wedding traditions. Whose side is usually in charge of what different things? In other words, what tasks/responsibilities is the bride’s family supposed to be in charge of (traditionally) and which ones are expected of the groom’s family?
Answer: Traditionally speaking, the bride is responsible for her personal stationery, gifts for her attendants, gift for the groom, the groom’s wedding band, her own medical exam including blood tests as dictated by the state the marriage is performed in (if needed) and beauty appointments for the bride and bridal party.
The groom is responsible for his attire, the bride’s wedding and engagement rings, gifts for attendants, the marriage license, a present for the bride, the bridal bouquet, corsages for the mothers, boutonnieres for the ushers, groomsmen, fathers and himself, accessories for his attendants, his own medical exam including blood tests as dictated by the state the marriage is performed in (if needed), fees to the celebrant and the honeymoon.
The bride’s family is responsible for the engagement party, the bride’s dress and trousseau, music for the ceremony, photography, invitations for the wedding, ceremony and reception venue expenses, flowers and decorations, food for reception including sales tax and gratuity, wedding cake, gifts for the bride and groom and wedding coordinator.
The groom’s family is responsible for hosting the rehearsal dinner, beverages for the reception including sales tax and gratuity, music for the reception, limousine service (transportation of wedding party) and gifts for the bride and groom.
I have found that expenses tend to be split in ways that are not always considered traditional. The families may agree upon the budget and how to best disperse money. They may take tradition into account, they may take their own financial situation into account and/or they may take their own preferences into account. An example of this is the groom’s parents may want to have a videographer and may add that to their list.
I have also found the bride and groom will take greater financial responsibility. They may be able to afford a greater share or they may want to upgrade certain items such as having a band instead of a disc jockey or having a dessert station in addition to the cake.
Forge a path that allows you to stay focused on your upcoming marriage. Invest time in the success of your life together as you invest in the ceremony and celebration.
Question: My favorite flowers are lilies and Gerbera daisies. How would you recommend I incorporate them into my wedding?
Answer: These flowers are both fun to use and colorful. You can do almost anything you like using them mixed with other flowers, individually or mixed with each other.
The bridal bouquet could be lilies, with gerbera daisies for the bridal party and groomsmen.
Your florist can work with you on different designs including suggestions using filler flowers that complement. Using them for centerpieces can be great fun as well, mixing styles on your tables or using simply with candles and great vases.
Kris Rundblad is owner of Merry Makers, a local social and corporate event planning company. Her column, Cause for Celebration, appears on the fourth Friday of every month in the Petoskey News-Review. Send your questions about weddings and entertaining to Rundblad at (231) 547-5061 or firstname.lastname@example.org or use this form.