Unifying ceremony: What are the options?
Question: My fiancée and I are having an outdoor wedding ceremony and would like to include a unifying ceremony such as the Unity Candle Ceremony but we hesitate to include a unity candle since the candle may blow out. Can you give us a couple of alternatives to this?
Answer: There are two ideas that may be of interest for you to use as an alternative during your wedding. The first is a Unity Sand Ceremony. This is a nice alternative to the Unity Candle Ceremony. For the Unity Sand Ceremony you need an empty vase and two or more side vases with different colors of sand (available online at many distributors, Michaels and other craft stores, or bring your own signature using lake or ocean sand, such as Lake Michigan sand or sand from another special place).
If this is a first wedding for you, two vessels of sand will be perfect or if you are joining families with children they can participate too with additional vessels of sand. I like it when the mothers of the bride and groom bring the individual vases of sand to a table with the empty vase as symbols of your individual families. During the wedding ceremony, the officiant briefly describes to your guests what is happening. Then you will go forward and each will take the vase brought by your mother (or other) and you will alternate pouring the sand into the empty vase, filling it but leaving a bit in the smaller vases to signify your individuality. The sand ceremony shows you joining your lives together with an activity that symbolizes your love of each other. You will also create a lasting memory that can be displayed for years to come as an object of art.
The Love Letter and Wine Box Ceremony — www.celebrateintimateweddings.com/lovebox.html — is a new twist for your wedding. For the ceremony you will need a wooden wine box, a bottle of your favorite wine, love letters sealed in separate envelopes, a hammer and several nails. In the weeks before your wedding, each of you writes a letter to the other expressing the reasons you fell in love, the qualities that drew you to each other and your hopes and dreams for the future, a love letter. Each of you will seal the letter in a separate envelope and will not peek at what the other has written.
The wooden wine box (it is nice to line the box and include cushion for your bottle of wine), the letters, the bottle of wine and any other mementos such as a photograph of the two of you or a CD of music you enjoy will be a part of your wedding ceremony. During your wedding ceremony, the box is presented with your items as the officiant states the purpose of the Love Letter and Wine Box Ceremony.” The officiant will give details about the items including your sealed love letters, then the items are placed in the box and then it will be nailed shut. The officiant will begin with the first nail followed by the bride and groom sealing the box shut. You may also include your wedding party in sealing the box.
The wine box should be opened on a future wedding anniversary be it five years or 25 years. If there is a time during your marriage that you are having a difficult time in your relationship the box may be opened. Maybe you are at an impasse, a rough spot or bump in the road and don’t know which direction to go, the box and its contents may help you to recognize what brought you together. Open the box, open the wine and unseal and read the letters that you wrote to each other. You will be reminded why you chose to begin a life together; the dreams that you had that included the other and your love. This will take you back to the day that you declared your love and spoke your vows!
After your wedding, put the box in a place that will remind you of your love for each other and on your chosen anniversary open it, toast, celebrate and read your letters!
Kris Rundblad is owner of Merry Makers, a local social and corporate event planning company. Her column, Cause for Celebration, appears on the fourth Friday of every month in the Petoskey News-Review. Send your questions about weddings and entertaining to Rundblad at (231) 547-5061 or info@merrymkr.com or use this form.
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